Birth Mother

Blog of a Birthmother. We talk about Sue's life experiences as a birthmother and the birthmother/adoption experiences of this blog's following. Sue offers her blogspot as a type of 'Dear Abby' for those desiring advice from someone who has 'been there'.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Easter 2009

Happy Easter Season to all my Adoption Triad Friends!

I am back to tell you all about the blessed Easter we enjoyed in this family. My Birth-daughter and her two girls came to dinner (hubby had to work), as did my other two daughters and their husbands and four children. With my husband and myself, we were thirteen-- a very LUCKY number, as far as I am concerned. The children had an Easter Egg hunt. No snow this year, just grass. How nice! It's been four years since the last Easter with Grass. (>:
We had a wonderful afternoon of feasting and visiting. With the time that has passed since I found her (5 years), we have become comfortable with each other and are not so full of questions. Life is just more relaxed now. And filled with LOVE.

In the morning, prior to dinner, Birth-daughter came to our church and sat with my husband. This kept him from having to sit alone and pleased him very much, as I was singing in the choir. The choir-- it's been a long time since I was part of a choir and I am happy to be back in one.

Then today, was Birth-daughter's Birthday. (>:
I received a delivery of flowers. Guess who from? From her Mom. The note thanked me for giving her 'the greatest gift'... I know I've told you all before, time and time again, but this lady is one of God's special ones. My baby was so blessed to have her for her Mom and I was so blessed to have her to take my baby and BE HER MOTHER. And now, I am so blessed to call her 'My Sister.' I love her folks. I owe her everything.

By the way, the greeting card business is going well. It keeps me busy, for sure.
If you have a need for greeting cards within the Adoption Triad, http://www.GreetingCardUniverse.com/CardArtFromTheHeart/ is the place to go. Just follow the link posted on the side of this page.
Let me fulfill any and all of your card needs... Cards for all tastes and all occasions, not just the Adoption Triad, okay?

Thanks, for your interest. Now I must go read comments and posts and see what I should be answering. God bless you all.
Sue


Sunday, September 14, 2008

MESSAGES



Steph and Jessica,

I have found your comments down two blogs from here and answered them with my comments. Please go down to the Mother's Day blog and click on comments to read what I answered you. Thanks a million and God bless you both!

Your sister,

Sue

SORRY!


Gosh I can't believe I haven't posted a blog here since Mother's Day! I am sorry...

I have been very busy with my Greeting Cards venture. I have created a line for the Adoption Triad. You will find cards for Reconciliation between members, and Birthday cards for Birth Children (Son and Daughter), as well as for the Birth Mother. Just click on the link on right to go take a look. Once in my store, you will find a "Search in my store" button on left. Fill it in with the apporopriate info. ie: Birthday Birth Son.

Hope you find a card just right for your needs. If you do, we'd love to hear about it on here. Thanks.

I had the most wonderful experience a few days ago. I called my (Birth) Granddaughter to wish her a Happy Birthday. We talked for about ten minutes and then were signing off. Though I have never done this before (not wanting to push her) I said, "I love you," and you know what she answered me? "Not as much as I love you!"

God is good!

For those of you who are yet suffering, hunting, hoping, please hang in there and keep the faith. You never know.... Remember it took me thirty-five years to find her. Perhaps it will take you only 35 days, or perhaps seventy-five years, or perhaps never on this earth. But your child is forever yours, though he/she may be someone else's too, he/she is still yours. You have that. It cannot be taken away from you. You gave birth to another human being...a wonderful part of Y O U!

God loves you and so do I.

Sue


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Happy Mother's Day, This Time...

How was your Mother's Day, ladies? Birth Mothers? Birth Children? Adoptive Moms? From my thirty-nine years of experience as a Birth Mother, I know the emotions of the day can really run the gambit...From the depths of despair to the heights of hilarity, with all the loneliness, secrecy and tears (shed and un-shed) in-between. I know that Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of Happiness, Love and a day of Reward for Mothers. But not Birth Mothers...We were not only the unsung heroes for many, we were the Disgraced and swept under the carpet. But none of that mattered much, with the pain of our lost child overpowering all.

Today I am one of the lucky ones. I found my Birth Daughter a few years ago. My Mother's Day was a Happy Mother's Day, this time. This Mother's Day I received cards from all three daughters. The two I raised, and the one I surrendered. I am not her Mom...that's something you will never be able to get back ladies...no use to pretend. But I am ONE of her Mothers--I am her Birth Mother. And that is beautiful. Enough? You BET. And oh so much more than I ever expected! She is beautiful, inside and out. And she's mine...in part...

And since finding her, I have begun to live my life more freely than ever before in my life. I am retired and dabble in all of those artistic arenas where I just didn't have the time, or confidence, before.

For those interested, please go to http://www.ourstage.com/music/channel/97-soulfest/UMQTCEMAXYID-our-father where I have placed my OUR FATHER recording. I wrote the music, played the keyboard and sang the vocals. Please give it a listen, and if you like what you hear, please vote for me or leave a comment. I would greatly appreciate all feedback.

My Faith brought me through many dark times and my Faith rewarded me with so many unexpecteds. This community is one of the latter. Please share my Faith with me and go take a listen at: http://www.ourstage.com/music/channel/97-soulfest/UMQTCEMAXYID-our-father

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Birth Mothers, Go For It!

My but how time does fly. She just celebrated her 39th birthday. I called and only talked a minute with her. She and hubby and children were out eating at a Chinese Restaurant. Next year will be the big Four-O. Hmmm. That is the age I was when I started actively looking for her. It just doesn't seem possible she could BE that age!

We still talk sporadically on the phone. The stiffness that used to creep in has vanished. We're just comfortable as family now. We have found our groove.

A Birthdaughter is as much my daughter as my other two. What is different is the history. That history that she and her Mom share will never be usurped. We all knew that going in and wanted it no differently. But from what I read in some other Birth Mother blogs and some of their books, I think this is often NOT the expectation of the Birth Mother. If you are one of these Birth Mothers, PLEASE rethink this. The worst thing you could wish for your daughter is to loose that special once-in-a-lifetime bond that she shares with only one woman. That woman is not, never was, and never will be you. So get over this, and grab onto what you DO have and what you CAN have. There is more history happening, as we speak, in yours and your Birth Child's lives. It is my hope that her history will now share big hunks with you AND her Adoptive parents...with Your Family and her Adoptive Family. And oh, if you are blessed abundantly, I wish you all to be as ONE FAMILY. That's what we have now; it is Beautiful; it is what I wish for you.
Remember, you already let that child go once...but now perhaps you have the opportunity to join her/him and hers/his...Go for it!!!



Thursday, March 06, 2008

Special Occasions


Hi again Adoption Triad Community. I have been busy designing new Greeting Cards and stocking my store with them. You can see the link off to the right and click on it to take you to my store. With several Cards designed for the Adoption Triad Community, I am here to ask you for suggestions. Please tell me what you would like to see offered in this neglected catagory. I want to make the cards available for all of us, that we can't find anywhere else. I love my Birth Daughter with a love that can barely be contained within me! And I love her Adoptive Mom just as much! She and I are like a pair of Book-ends that were on different shelves for many years. But now we are a matched pair on the same shelf, sharing the same Classic--our Daughter. There is nothing greater I could have wished for in this life, than to be reunited with my Birth Daughter. I cannot however, say that without adding: A Birth Mother and an Adoptive Mother united is a very beautiful thing... In some ways we are more 'sisters' than the sisters who were born to me. Sharing this child and our love of her--seeing her as the fruit of both of our labors...C'est la vie!

It is easy for me to think of designs for my own personal needs, but I realize that every situation is unique...so please tell me what you want. Do you desire a card for some sort of reaching out? an appology? a reassurance? a Just Thinking of You? Please help me out here. You are my main focus. You are the main reason I started the store. I truly want to offer something to this community. I had so much pain and was so needy for many years. Yet I had to hide my pain and I sought no help. That was not good. Now, because I understand the pain, confusion, love and compassion within the community, and because I am now able to give more since I have been strenghtened coming from a much more joyful place, I want to serve the others in my community...you... So how about it? What are your Greeting Card Needs?

No Special Occasion is ever complete without a Special Greeting Card.

Sue Baumgardner, Birth Mother

Monday, January 07, 2008

What an Awesome God...Make This Family Whole



Yes, 2008 is definately starting off much better.

My three daughters and their children had a day together Saturday and then #2 daughter's little girl went home with #1 daughter and her girls. She spent the night with her cousins. They spent a magical night together which could only be measured as magnificient! After very little sleep, they rose in the morning and went to Sunday school, followed by Sunday Mass.

What an awesome God who has seen fit to make this family whole!

I notice that a lot of you are dropping by my Greeting Card store front and checking out the Adoption Reunion cards. I will be adding a lot more cards for all occasions within the Adoption Triad, so keep looking. And let me know of any requests you have and I will get right on it, okay? Birth Mother, Birth Father, Adopted Son, Adopted Daughter, Adoptive Mother, Adoptive Father, and how about Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins? Let me hear from you. I want to offer you what you are looking for in your Greeting Cards. And I appreciate all of your support.

Just click on the button to 'Buy Cards' on the bottom of this page.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

GOOD NEWS

Though these are difficult days, it is difficult to realize it at the moment. Good news! Daughter #2 was told today that she does NOT have breast cancer. Praise God.
Thank you all of you who sent up prayers for us. May God bless you all.

Another bit of good news. I have opened a store front on the web for my Greeting Cards. I have only three up so far, but will be adding to the list daily. One of the three now there is intended for the Adoption Triad--especially useful in Reunion cases.
I plan to design and offer a multitude of cards to be used within the Adoption Triad. So, Birth Mothers, Birth Fathers, Adoptive Mothers, Adoptive Fathers, Adopted/Surrendered Child and Siblings, Go take a look. You will find the button at the bottom of this page. You can click on 'Buy Cards' and see what I have to offer. Remember to check the site often, as I will be continually adding cards.

These Adoption/Surrender specific cards will, I believe, be healing for me in the creation of and for you in the consumption of. God bless us all, everyone.