Happy Mother's Day, This Time...

How was your Mother's Day, ladies? Birth Mothers? Birth Children? Adoptive Moms? From my thirty-nine years of experience as a Birth Mother, I know the emotions of the day can really run the gambit...From the depths of despair to the heights of hilarity, with all the loneliness, secrecy and tears (shed and un-shed) in-between. I know that Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of Happiness, Love and a day of Reward for Mothers. But not Birth Mothers...We were not only the unsung heroes for many, we were the Disgraced and swept under the carpet. But none of that mattered much, with the pain of our lost child overpowering all.

Today I am one of the lucky ones. I found my Birth Daughter a few years ago. My Mother's Day was a Happy Mother's Day, this time. This Mother's Day I received cards from all three daughters. The two I raised, and the one I surrendered. I am not her Mom...that's something you will never be able to get back ladies...no use to pretend. But I am ONE of her Mothers--I am her Birth Mother. And that is beautiful. Enough? You BET. And oh so much more than I ever expected! She is beautiful, inside and out. And she's mine...in part...

And since finding her, I have begun to live my life more freely than ever before in my life. I am retired and dabble in all of those artistic arenas where I just didn't have the time, or confidence, before.

For those interested, please go to http://www.ourstage.com/music/channel/97-soulfest/UMQTCEMAXYID-our-father where I have placed my OUR FATHER recording. I wrote the music, played the keyboard and sang the vocals. Please give it a listen, and if you like what you hear, please vote for me or leave a comment. I would greatly appreciate all feedback.

My Faith brought me through many dark times and my Faith rewarded me with so many unexpecteds. This community is one of the latter. Please share my Faith with me and go take a listen at: http://www.ourstage.com/music/channel/97-soulfest/UMQTCEMAXYID-our-father

Birth Mothers, Go For It!

My but how time does fly. She just celebrated her 39th birthday. I called and only talked a minute with her. She and hubby and children were out eating at a Chinese Restaurant. Next year will be the big Four-O. Hmmm. That is the age I was when I started actively looking for her. It just doesn't seem possible she could BE that age!

We still talk sporadically on the phone. The stiffness that used to creep in has vanished. We're just comfortable as family now. We have found our groove.

A Birthdaughter is as much my daughter as my other two. What is different is the history. That history that she and her Mom share will never be usurped. We all knew that going in and wanted it no differently. But from what I read in some other Birth Mother blogs and some of their books, I think this is often NOT the expectation of the Birth Mother. If you are one of these Birth Mothers, PLEASE rethink this. The worst thing you could wish for your daughter is to loose that special once-in-a-lifetime bond that she shares with only one woman. That woman is not, never was, and never will be you. So get over this, and grab onto what you DO have and what you CAN have. There is more history happening, as we speak, in yours and your Birth Child's lives. It is my hope that her history will now share big hunks with you AND her Adoptive parents...with Your Family and her Adoptive Family. And oh, if you are blessed abundantly, I wish you all to be as ONE FAMILY. That's what we have now; it is Beautiful; it is what I wish for you.
Remember, you already let that child go once...but now perhaps you have the opportunity to join her/him and hers/his...Go for it!!!

Special Occasions

Hi again Adoption Triad Community. I have been busy designing new Greeting Cards and stocking my store with them. You can see the link off to the right and click on it to take you to my store. With several Cards designed for the Adoption Triad Community, I am here to ask you for suggestions. Please tell me what you would like to see offered in this neglected catagory. I want to make the cards available for all of us, that we can't find anywhere else. I love my Birth Daughter with a love that can barely be contained within me! And I love her Adoptive Mom just as much! She and I are like a pair of Book-ends that were on different shelves for many years. But now we are a matched pair on the same shelf, sharing the same Classic--our Daughter. There is nothing greater I could have wished for in this life, than to be reunited with my Birth Daughter. I cannot however, say that without adding: A Birth Mother and an Adoptive Mother united is a very beautiful thing... In some ways we are more 'sisters' than the sisters who were born to me. Sharing this child and our love of her--seeing her as the fruit of both of our labors...C'est la vie!

It is easy for me to think of designs for my own personal needs, but I realize that every situation is unique...so please tell me what you want. Do you desire a card for some sort of reaching out? an appology? a reassurance? a Just Thinking of You? Please help me out here. You are my main focus. You are the main reason I started the store. I truly want to offer something to this community. I had so much pain and was so needy for many years. Yet I had to hide my pain and I sought no help. That was not good. Now, because I understand the pain, confusion, love and compassion within the community, and because I am now able to give more since I have been strenghtened coming from a much more joyful place, I want to serve the others in my community...you... So how about it? What are your Greeting Card Needs?

No Special Occasion is ever complete without a Special Greeting Card.

Sue Baumgardner, Birth Mother

What an Awesome God...Make This Family Whole

Yes, 2008 is definately starting off much better.

My three daughters and their children had a day together Saturday and then #2 daughter's little girl went home with #1 daughter and her girls. She spent the night with her cousins. They spent a magical night together which could only be measured as magnificient! After very little sleep, they rose in the morning and went to Sunday school, followed by Sunday Mass.

What an awesome God who has seen fit to make this family whole!

I notice that a lot of you are dropping by my Greeting Card store front and checking out the Adoption Reunion cards. I will be adding a lot more cards for all occasions within the Adoption Triad, so keep looking. And let me know of any requests you have and I will get right on it, okay? Birth Mother, Birth Father, Adopted Son, Adopted Daughter, Adoptive Mother, Adoptive Father, and how about Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins? Let me hear from you. I want to offer you what you are looking for in your Greeting Cards. And I appreciate all of your support.

Just click on the button to 'Buy Cards' on the bottom of this page.

GOOD NEWS

Though these are difficult days, it is difficult to realize it at the moment. Good news! Daughter #2 was told today that she does NOT have breast cancer. Praise God.
Thank you all of you who sent up prayers for us. May God bless you all.

Another bit of good news. I have opened a store front on the web for my Greeting Cards. I have only three up so far, but will be adding to the list daily. One of the three now there is intended for the Adoption Triad--especially useful in Reunion cases.
I plan to design and offer a multitude of cards to be used within the Adoption Triad. So, Birth Mothers, Birth Fathers, Adoptive Mothers, Adoptive Fathers, Adopted/Surrendered Child and Siblings, Go take a look. You will find the button at the bottom of this page. You can click on 'Buy Cards' and see what I have to offer. Remember to check the site often, as I will be continually adding cards.

These Adoption/Surrender specific cards will, I believe, be healing for me in the creation of and for you in the consumption of. God bless us all, everyone.

Mothers, Daughters, Sisters..Love the Best Yet

2008, Here we are. I am starting out this new year with an old friend. My Birth Mother Blog.

I have not posted here in about two months. A lot has happened since my last post.

My husband and I had Thanksgiving Dinner at my Birth Daughter's (or I sometimes refer to her as Daughter #1). Joined together under one roof were: Daughter #1 and her two girls and husband and her Mom. Daughters #2 & 3 and their husbands and four children (3 boys and 1 girl). It was a surreal day--pure magic. Good food, to which we ladies all contributed, good comapnionship and love enough to go all around.

The three sisters ran the show very efficiently we two grandmothers helped as needed but mostly just sat back and enjoyed. I think we both were wallowing in wonderful. We love each other, we love our children and our grandchildren and we are overflowing with gratitude that these families are now joined as one and will know each other as family for evermore.

Children and fathers decorated the Christmas tree, watched the parade on TV, fried turkeys and assembled a gingerbread house. Kids and adults hugged, conspired, confided, exchanged gifts and snapped pictures of each other. We relived old memories and made new ones. We compared stories within our covey and found comfort in something akin to a conclave confirmation.

The 2007 Advent and Christmas season has found us with a great deal of sickness and even death. My sister-in-law who had Alzheimers badly, passed away the first week in December. She was only 72. We will miss her. She was a dear friend to me. It's hard to believe how fast she folded up in the past 7 years. By the time she passed, she could no longer walk or talk. She was very agitated most of the time. We are grateful that she is free and whole again, now. I had a wonderful dream of her the night after she passed. I saw her get her wings. Thank you for a prayer answered, Lord.

#2 and #3 daughters and their children have been sick with respiratory ailments as have my husband and I. Finally, we are all on the mend.

#2 daughter has a lump in her breast and goes to the specialist tomorrow. We live in fear and we live in hope. We pray. And we ask for your prayers. Amen.

So that's where we are at the start of 2008.

My prayer for you is that all you Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, Fathers, Sons, Children and Relatives, Love Each Other the best you can. Don't waste a minute of the time given to you. May 2008 be the year you Love the Best Yet!

A Birth Mother's Tears

I cried alone
hot tears, breathless moan
in the dark of night

I cried my tears
for thirty-five years
in the dark of night

I cry with her
held in my two arms
in the light of day

I've cried these tears
for just three years
in the light of day

I thank you God
in the dark of night
and the light of day
I thank you God.